Are you making him a priority whilst he only sees you as an option?
Do you find yourself in any of these scenarios?
- Do you put his needs before your own?
- Do you find yourself doing all the work, trying to fix everything?
- Are you still waiting for him, even though he has made it clear he is not looking for a relationship?
- Does he only come around when he wants something from you?
- Is he always too busy to be with you or take you out?
Time to take back your power, stop being an option in his life. You have to teach him how to treat you. When you know your value and your worth, one of two things will happen; either he will change, or you will change how you feel about him.
Here are five tips to avoid being an option and become a priority
- Put Your Self-Care Needs First
‘When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.’
Stop focusing on trying to change him. Actions speak louder than words.
Do his words match his actions?
Don’t just listen to his words; his words need to be backed up by actions.
Decide that you deserve respect and will no longer accept poor treatment.
When you fall in love with yourself first, you will no longer settle for crumbs from a man.
Check-in with how you feel and your relationship goals – is this matching what you deserve?
Decide what you want from your relationship, don’t ‘fall’ into the trance settling for less than you deserve,
Remember, you are the modern-day Empress who values her happiness!
2. Stop doing all the work
Stop making phone calls and trying to fix everything. It is not your job to initiate things in your relationship – this is masculine behaviour that will push your man away.
Find out whether his behaviour matches your relationship blueprint. You won’t know that if you are meddling and doing all the work.
Learn to lean back and let him come towards you. If he does not move towards you, you have your answer. He is not the one, or he is not ready for commitment. You decide what you will do with that information.
Don’t try to change him; accept that this is how he is, and make the decision that aligns with what will make you happy.
(Remember ‘a man convinced against his will is of the same opinion still’). When you choose to do what makes you happy, he may decide to change, or you may lose interest in him.
3. Don’t wait around for him if he is not ready to commit
Is it working for him, but not for you?
Don’t wait around; understand that your time is precious. Your partner may be happy with the situationship as it is. He may not be ready to commit but still wants to enjoy all the benefits. Waiting around and meeting his needs won’t change him.
You are responsible for your happiness. You have to decide to take action. Do what makes you happy. Your partner may not be a bad person, but just being himself. When you choose your own happiness first, you will no longer be an option. You are living your best life with or without him.
When you choose to be happy, he will make you his priority, but if you decide to make him happy at the expense of your own happiness, he will treat you as an option.
4. Don’t be a doormat
If you feel like you’re being used and he only shows up when he needs something, you are being treated as an option and not a priority to him. You have to stop being at his beck and call and learn to say ‘no.’
You may feel that being there for him will make him want to commit to you someday, but this is unlikely to happen.
When you allow yourself to be used and get taken for granted, you teach him that you are not valuable. Men take care of what they value. You need to show him that you are a high-value woman that he can’t afford to lose, not just a doormat that is always there for him to use.
5. Spend quality time together
You should be spending quality time together enjoying each other’s company, making happy memories that bring you closer together. Time together is part of what makes your love grow and build the bond that keeps you strong as a couple. If he is too busy to see you, it may mean that he is not ready to be in a committed relationship with you. Busy people in love will rearrange their schedules to prioritise their love life.
What to do if you find yourself in any of these scenarios?
Decide what your relationship goals are. Decide what you are no longer willing to accept and longer tolerate. Don’t accept poor behaviour from your partner. Understand the feminine/masculine principle in relationships and attract the love you deserve.
You are the only one responsible for your happiness; you have the power to decide who gets to stay in your world. You are the director of your life. If you don’t like the direction of your story – change it!