How to transform a situationship into a Healthy Relationship

How to transform a situationship into a Healthy Relationship

Many of my clients ask ‘is it possible to transform a ‘friends with benefits situationship’ into a loving relationship that feeds your very soul’.

The answer is yes and no. It depends.

All relationships start with attraction, but to take it to the next level you need to have a bond spiritually, mentally, emotionally as well as the obvious physical attraction. If you only have a physical connection then it is easy for this type of relationship to fizzle out leaving one party deeply disappointed.

A lot of people throw themselves into the physical primal electrifying bond because it is fast-moving full of passion maybe matching their fast-paced life, they are attracted to the no-strings attachment style. Unfortunately, most people get burnt in this type of union as the potent energy starts to wear off.  So many of my female clients fall in love with the potential of what this union could be, but both parties have to want it and do the work to keep the fire burning.

You may have gone through the negative effects of this one-sided union – the continual roller-coaster ride of endless conflicts and reconciliations that conjures up heated emotions of lust and jealousy, anger, and confusion. 

Believe it or not, this type of connection can be transformed into a powerful and satisfying spiritual union, but only if both parties become conscious of how to take that potential energy and transform it into love.

If you’ve found yourself in this type of scenario you’ll know that it is catastrophic to the heart and mind and can leave you in an emotional turmoil that consumes your very soul.

You have to disconnect to reconnect before you can squeeze out the juice from your sizzling connection enjoying the continued passion with your partner at a frequency that is both satisfying and electrifying to the heart, mind, and body without destructive effects.  In other words, the energy cannot be contained in just one area, it has to reach all parts of you right up to the soul level. When you are bonded at the soul level the passion continues to flow, if it stops at the physical only the power is not enough without the undying energy of the soul. When you have soul-filled love, you have a chance to attract undying love, without this magnetic energy you’re left with loveless lust and a broken heart.

You may want to step away and refuel your energy resolve the unspoken conflicts, gain insights and build empathy for each other.  You will begin to experience a love that is not just a carnal sensual connection but a love that lifts your soul to new heights.  You can introduce the transformative power of high-level love to quench that tantalizing desire and indulge in spiritual highs – the underlying soul urge.

Be careful not to be seduced by this primal physical magnetism with its unique connection fuelled primarily by an erotic force. When you experience this rush of lustful desire, those notions are triggered because you are responding to shared hypnotic mind energy or you may have similar tendencies or a mirrored emotional past. 

This mutual awareness awakens desire and activates the brain to stimulate biological functions such as hormones and the brain’s own sexual chemicals such as oxytocin.  When both parties are enjoying this oxytocin connection then there is a shared experience enjoyed by both. But if one party is there for the dopamine fix and the other for the longevity hormone oxytocin then it may be difficult to move this situation-ship into a lasting relationship.

During orgasm, many elements of a woman’s brain are activated when different parts of her body are aroused. In fact, as many as 30 parts of her brain may be activated including those responsible for emotion, touch, joy, satisfaction, and memory.  This can lead to a woman falling in love very easily after sex.   In other words, most women are not built for friends with benefits situationships. (There is no judgment here, just science).

It is important for women to be mindful and be selective about who they allow into their ‘sexual headspace.’ Some women who are in a textual situationship find themselves falling in love with someone who really doesn’t exist.

If you are confused about a sexual or textual encounter/liaison feeling more and more confused, not knowing where to turn then find out how to release yourself from this unwanted situationship and transform it into a loving relationship.

This potent energy has the power to transform

Its powerful energy can turn calm into the storm

It’s lust at first sight

That fires up the carnal appetite

This can lead to pain and suffering

If we don’t master its fiery energy

A habitual roller-coaster ride

That can lead to low lows and high, highs

Emotions of lust and jealousy

That turns lovers into enemies

This sizzling chemistry

Creates an intoxicating synergy

Ignite the spark you both share

Arouse not only your body, but your soul too if you dare!

Book a love coaching session if you want to transform your situationship into a healthy relationship!



This morning as you awake

It is not only about having a healthy shake

It is about checking your soul’s goal 

And asking is it well with my soul?

The first thing is to check your state

Change it if you don’t feel great

Don’t go about your day

Just feeling any old way

It’s your job to check the quality of your mood

Count your blessings as you enjoy your food

Focus on what is green and growing

Then you’ll find your day is flowing!



Don’t let what happened to you stop your flow

Pick yourself back up and off you go

You have all you need inside you to conquer

Anything that happens to you will make you stronger

Don’t let it stop you from living your soul’s purpose

We have to forgive and move on from those who hurt us

For a while, we feel bruised, hurt and tearful

Our inner peace is a gift that soon makes us feel cheerful

We have all that we need to continue life’s journey

We must believe in ourselves and know that we’re worthy



One day when the money comes……..

One day when I have time………

One day when the children grow up…….

One day when I meet the person of my dreams…….

One day when I get rid of the person that I’m with……

One day when I get married…..

One day when I get out of this marriage…….

One day when things get better for me…….


We don’t have someday

We only have TODAY!!!!

Do it now while you can

Today start drafting your plan

You are not guaranteed tomorrow

It’s a gift for some, for others its sorrow

You can’t live on a promise

Just get up and do this

The dream is yours to create

Do it now before it’s too late!



As you awaken to today’s gift

A warm and nourishing Sun kiss

The sun paints a beautiful picture

Everything looking brighter and richer

The beautiful smiles of everyone

Sharing their own inner sun

Time to download the mysteries

In place of past miseries

How to be joyful

Even when things are awful

How to find your inner sun

Even when the weather’s glum



As the night transforms to day 
We welcome another Thursday
Another week ends 
Hello to the weekend 
Each day has its own personality 
Do you allow it to affect your reality?
Do you let the weather affect you? 
If its cold outside, are you cold too? 
Or do you decide to wear a smile
Even when the sun doesn’t shine 
When tough times arrive  
Do you give thanks that you’re alive? 
Do you see life as depressing? 
Or are you counting your blessings? 
No matter what you’re going through
Trust that your night will turn into day too!
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